"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." —C.G. Jung
"If you don't transform your suffering, you'll transmit it." —Richard Rohr
Once upon a time, you are born whole. As you grow you experience pain, and gradually your original wholeness—the loving and unified nature you are born with—fractures, splintering off into separate components. Your identity becomes multifaceted on the journey to becoming yourself; you split to survive.
Each injury is accompanied by an evolution; you adapt and evolve in response to your environment. Sometimes the process begins with a loss, a death, an absence. Sometimes it is an intrusion, a mis-attunement, a mistake. Sometimes it is an internal conflict, or a persistent residual fear. In your case, it’s a combination unique to you.
You are an incredibly intelligent and adaptive creature, so in response to pain, you protect yourself. You develop ways to cope with each painful experience, and ways of thinking and behaving to ensure you aren’t wounded in the same way again. Each wall and bandage contributes to the evolution of your false self—a collection of wounds and coping behaviours— which allows you to function, perhaps even obtain some success in the world.
But alas, in the words of Confucius: wherever you go, there you are. Patterns in your life and relationships bubble up, and one day you decide you’re ready to get curious about what it might look like to truly heal, instead of simply cope. You’re ready to get radically honest with yourself, and embrace the totality of your experience. Ready to take ownership of your story, and step into your power as its author.
What if you considered your personality to be nothing more than a collection of wounds and coping behaviours? What might it look like to let that go? Who might you choose to be?
What might it be like to rediscover lost pieces of the Self, reclaim disowned pieces of the Self, and sooth wounded parts of the Self? What does it mean to restore the loving and whole nature that you were born with?
What if healing was not about decreasing pain, but rather, increasing our capacity to tolerate our experience, so that pain did not overwhelm us?
The work we’re all here to do, begins when we make the choice to show up fully for our own lives. When we accept the invitation to get to know the many facets of ourselves, we experience personal transformation, and relational maturation.
This work is both deeply personal and deeply interpersonal...none of your relationships will be the same once you start doing your own healing. It starts with you.
Your relationship with yourSelf is the template for all other relationships you have.
The Story of You
“And maybe the wound will always be with you. Maybe you will always walk with the hurt. But now, you hold it. You are the container, not the contained.” —Jeff Foster
Individual therapy with Kim Fraser-Harrison focuses on:
Understanding and integrating childhood experiences
Making the unconscious conscious: identifying core-level wounds
Cultivating self-acceptance and self-compassion
Developing a cohesive narrative of the self
Working with the shadow
Identity, ego, and boundary work
Nervous system regulation, somatic work and embodiment
Expanding emotional tolerance
Awakening to your unique purpose
Embodying the full masculine and feminine aspects of the self